Excerpts from The Official Noodelation Handbook

excerpts from . . .

Introduction to Noodelation

Noodelation is the massage of the buttocks
accompanied by the practitioner’s chanting
of the prescribed Noodelation vocalization.

Few people contemplate the connection between the buttocks and good health. With built-in comfortable padding, the buttocks functions as the seat of our physical structure. At the base of the spine, this largest muscle in the body houses a mass of nerve endings that reaches to every cell in the body. In Hindu Vedic philosophy, the route to conscious enlightenment begins with the Muladhara Chakra, the first of seven energy centers, framed by the musculus gluteus maximus, the butt, the muscle that enables the human being to stand erect . . .

. . . The Noodelation massage, unusual as it may be, is a genuine physical therapy technique. It has the benefits of all massage therapies, but also the potential to free us from unwanted psychological defenses about a part of the human body so often maligned, derided, and obscured by taboo . . .

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Table of Contents

Introduction to Noodelation
The Okolewikiono Connection
Pelorian Research
The Importance of the Buttocks
Why do we need Noodelation?
Who should be your Noodelator?
The Basic Idea
Who is it for?
The Noodelation Technique
Noodelation Vocalization
Creating a Relaxed Environment
Clothed vs. Naked Noodelation
The Importance of Breathing
The Importance of the Breath
Working with Gravity
The Mind-Buttocks Relationship
Working with the Giant Buttocks
Noodelate Yourself
Areas of Caution
Sex and Noodelation
Air Noodelation
Noodelation as a Greeting
Animal Noodelation
Spiritual Connections
Glossary of Butt Related Expressions

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excerpts from . . .

The Okolewikiono Connection

The tiny island nation of Okolewikiono is impossible to locate on most maps of the world, and yet its joyful cultural permissiveness serves as a model of enlightened human interaction . . .

. . . An apparent lack of jealousy and an open sexuality has probably contributed to an acceptance of touching parts of another’s body without the familiar taboos found in most cultures on the planet. Okole oni’oni, what we have come to call Noodelation, is widely practiced among both children and adults . . .


Okolewikiono Postcard c.1907

. . . Okolewikiono is a pear-shaped volcanic island with a deep water inlet on its southern coast. Rounded steep sloping barren cliffs of an unusual light tan volcanic obsidian on all sides of a prominent double mountain on the island gave Malaspina the impression of encountering a shining bifurcated pearl rising out of the sea . . .

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excerpt from . . .

Why Do We Need Noodelation?

. . . As the ancient Okolewikiono people have understood for millennia, the humorous acceptance of the diverse appearances and functions of nature frees the mind from a potential fearful or negative association. Living in a tropical paradise does not insure a life of peaceful harmony. From the pain and intense gratification of childbirth, we enter the world with the constant duality of choosing to identify with our fears or our joys, and every reality in between. Noodelation, when performed with a joyful open heart and no ulterior motives, gives us a much needed experience of service combined with fun. The Okolewikiono people say, When the buttocks wiggles, the whole world giggles . . .

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Noo-del oo-del oo-del oo-del, oo-del oo-del oo-del oo-del

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